Kitchen pic.JPG

I can't commit. 

Well, I have committed to some things like, marriage, my pets, home ownership, my friends, my work, not wanting to have kids and historical BBC programming.

Those I have committed to whole-hardheartedly.

But in the realm of "careers"...not so much.

In the past, I have been a:

  • Hair Stylist
  • Makeup Artist
  • Retail Clothing Store Manager
  • Waitress
  • Bartender
  • Environmental Educator 
  • Associate Director of Education
  • Director of Development for an Artisinal Pig Farm (more on that later...maybe) 
  • Wine Sales Rep
  • Fiber Artist (...trying to be)
  • Wine Educator & Monger (current)

Then there are all my interests & pursuits...

  • Climbing
  • Writing
  • Crochet
  • Cooking
  • Blogging
  • Baking
  • Gardening
  • Social Media Pursuits 
  • Sewing
  • Fiber Spinning
  • Fiber Art

When I look at the above, I realize that I get off on tackling a challenge.

Trying something new.

This site is proof of that. 

How long till it molders in the eternity of the internets?

What would have happened had I stayed with one of the jobs / careers above? Taken any one of them to the top levels of accomplishment? Well... I don't think I'd be here.

And that's sad. Because I love it here.

Yet regardless of my happiness, I'm still unsettled by my past of career hop scotch. 

...and that's my conundrum. 

I look at those around me- my friends, my family, my customers at work, and I see them crushing it at their careers in astounding ways. Many of them playing at the top of their games. And in comparison I feel, somehow...second class in a way. 

And it is here that I face one of my biggest foes...

I'm always comparing myself to others. 

But yet, I am so happy every day! How can one be so jealous of others all the time, yet so happy day to day?

Seriously. I wake up with a smile on my face (and usually a cat on my chest or behind my knees) most mornings. I walk through a home that is mine (and my awesome husband's) and I am in love with it (...and him).

I have my morning beverage in a kitchen that I love to be in. (a little back story...I've never really felt that before. I'm 45 years old and the dishwasher we bought last July is the first one I have ever had.)

I spend more time in my kitchen than I do in my living room most days.

I have a room of my own- my beloved studio, that cultivates my creative soul as I spend hours in there (or my kitchen) creating and writing and thinking.

I have a husband that loves me, honors me and allows me to be my flaky self. 

What the hell is there to be ashamed of or unsettled with? Why do I always compare myself to others? 

I don't know the answer to those questions. But this blog is an attempt in figuring that out by sharing my journey towards self-acceptance and understanding. 

Maybe sharing my joys (and expected failures) will help me learn to settle down and just be happy for happy's sake. 

I hope you enjoy my musings, my projects and experiences. And I hope they inspire you to try new things. 

If all you gain from my foibles and achievements is a smile and some inspiration...then my time here will have been well spent. 

 

    ...with much love and acceptance,

                                     Heidi