I can't commit.
Well, I have committed to some things like, marriage, my pets, home ownership, my friends, my work, not wanting to have kids and historical BBC programming.
Those I have committed to whole-hardheartedly.
But in the realm of "careers"...not so much.
In the past, I have been a:
- Hair Stylist
- Makeup Artist
- Retail Clothing Store Manager
- Environmental Educator
- Associate Director of Education
- Director of Development for an Artisinal Pig Farm (more on that later...maybe)
- Wine Sales Rep
- Fiber Artist (...trying to be)
- Wine Educator & Monger (current)
Then there are all my interests & pursuits...
- Social Media Pursuits
- Fiber Spinning
- Fiber Art
When I look at the above, I realize that I get off on tackling a challenge.
Trying something new.
This site is proof of that.
How long till it molders in the eternity of the internets?
What would have happened had I stayed with one of the jobs / careers above? Taken any one of them to the top levels of accomplishment? Well... I don't think I'd be here.
And that's sad. Because I love it here.
Yet regardless of my happiness, I'm still unsettled by my past of career hop scotch.
...and that's my conundrum.
I look at those around me- my friends, my family, my customers at work, and I see them crushing it at their careers in astounding ways. Many of them playing at the top of their games. And in comparison I feel, somehow...second class in a way.
And it is here that I face one of my biggest foes...
I'm always comparing myself to others.
But yet, I am so happy every day! How can one be so jealous of others all the time, yet so happy day to day?
Seriously. I wake up with a smile on my face (and usually a cat on my chest or behind my knees) most mornings. I walk through a home that is mine (and my awesome husband's) and I am in love with it (...and him).
I have my morning beverage in a kitchen that I love to be in. (a little back story...I've never really felt that before. I'm 45 years old and the dishwasher we bought last July is the first one I have ever had.)
I spend more time in my kitchen than I do in my living room most days.
I have a room of my own- my beloved studio, that cultivates my creative soul as I spend hours in there (or my kitchen) creating and writing and thinking.
I have a husband that loves me, honors me and allows me to be my flaky self.
What the hell is there to be ashamed of or unsettled with? Why do I always compare myself to others?
I don't know the answer to those questions. But this blog is an attempt in figuring that out by sharing my journey towards self-acceptance and understanding.
Maybe sharing my joys (and expected failures) will help me learn to settle down and just be happy for happy's sake.
I hope you enjoy my musings, my projects and experiences. And I hope they inspire you to try new things.
If all you gain from my foibles and achievements is a smile and some inspiration...then my time here will have been well spent.
...with much love and acceptance,